Christmas Solitude

It’s a quiet winter morning here. And it’s the weekend before Christmas. My life runs on a To-Do list. And like every other weekend I make myself some tea and sit at the dining table to write it down. Baking plum cakes and butter cookies is on the top of my list this morning. And then there’s the never ending of list of how many more trinkets I could get for our Christmas tree, the shopping list, the laundry, groceries, more wine for the season and it goes on.

I love Christmas. I love winter. It’s such a beautiful time of the year. To reflect, to wind down, to cherish all the wonderful memories and of course to look forward to a brand new year.

This year was different. It was difficult. Our entire world changed. The way we lived, worked, socialized – everything was redefined. Change isn’t easy. There is a lot of turmoil within until one gets into a mode of accepting the new. There is denial, anger, argument and despair. Some cope up and accept while some resist and refuse. This year changed that too. The global pandemic, the fear of the dreaded sickness, the loss of loved ones and countless lives globally, has pushed each and every one of us to a new level of living. Looking back on the year that went by, I now begin to think about what got us here. And when I look around me, I see Resilience. Perseverance. The innate truth of survival of the fittest.

As much as I try, I can never comprehend our loss this year. To each, loss could mean differently. Personal, professional, financial and emotional too. I try not to think of the misfortunes; yet somehow I believe our failures keep us grounded. Our loss reminds us of how fragile life is and how things may never go as planned. A staunch reminder of how nothing is in our control. That there is a supreme force above all of us that guides and leads.

This morning, like every other, I am grateful. For my family around me, for their unconditional love and support. For my friends, for the laughter and cheer they bring into my life. Especially this year as we all made sure we held on to each other tightly being each other’s strength. And for those who risked their own lives for our safety. May kindness shower on you like confetti.

Photo by Hugo Ruiz on Unsplash

I humbly pray the new year brings hope for all. And I pray the desires of the heart are fulfilled. I hope the world around us cherishes one another. I pray for more kindness and less judgment. For more helping hands and less prejudice. For a healthy world, a cleaner earth and abundance of blessings.

This year gave me time like no other. Even if I spent a ton of money, my husband and I would have never had so much time with each other unless we retired this very moment. Of all the beautiful things we cherish, our little girl now hugs a little tighter each time. And there is no better feeling. The only reason I build resilience and continue to persevere. Is for the hope we can show her. To never give up. To know when to. To be kind. To be grateful.

It’s a quiet winter morning, the weekend before Christmas. And off I go. To bake a plum cake and a tray of butter cookies. Of course, the Christmas tree is going to have new trinkets.

Photo by Kate Laine on Unsplash